My Hope and Stay when the Sea is Raging
I've always been the type of person to put off meds if possible, and waited until a headache is really bad before taking something for it. I've hated the amount of meds I've needed to control this relentless nerve pain from the surgery. I also know, due to the medical portal, that my liver and kidney markers were off while at the hospital... No one told me about them, so maybe that's normal after surgery... But, I still don't want to make them worse. I have the pull to take less meds verses the pain I know I have without (& a level of pain with).
Yesterday, at my first time back at church, I was thrilled they sang a song, "You've Already Won". The lyrics and YouTube video are linked below. This song had given me hope prior to the surgery... And here, I was, back singing the same song, alive & rejoicing in Christ walking with me though the first month post surgery! I sang it without coughing too!!
With Joel's parents gone, and a handful of pretty good days, I decided to stretch out the strongest medicine... One extra hour between taking them... And then, due to forgetting, it was much longer than that... I believe doubled. But, the pain wasn't terrible, so I made a plan to stretch it while sleeping. Bad idea... With hope of sleeping longer (up until last night, I was setting alarm clocks for meds)... It backfired with waking up earlier with much stronger pain, and too early for anything. Not this again! The pain was still bad after I could take something, until around 10 a.m, where is was more "manageable". Why is the breakthrough pain so much harder to reel back in??
I had tears. Not just over pain, but over my longing to get off meds...
In my tears, I was reminded of the song we sang yesterday and looked up the lyrics, I was reminded to hang on to my Rock...
"There's mercy in the waiting
Manna for today
And when it's gone, I know You're NOT
You are my hope and stay
When the sea is raging
Your Spirit is my help
He'll fix my eyes on Jesus Christ
I'll say that it is well"
I don't know why it's so hard, but I want to learn through it. I'm still praying for a path to less meds and less pain!
"You've Already Won" by Shane & Shane
There's peace that outlasts darkness Hope that's in the blood There's future grace that's mine today That Jesus Christ has won So I can face tomorrow For tomorrow's in Your hands All I need You will provide Just like You always have
I'm fighting a battle You've already won No matter what comes my way, I will overcome Don't know what You're doing, but I know what You've done And I'm fighting a battle You've already won
There's mercy in the waiting Manna for today And when it's gone, I know You're not You are my hope and stay When the sea is raging Your Spirit is my help He'll fix my eyes on Jesus Christ I'll say that it is well Oh, I know that it is well
I know how the story ends We will be with You again (You are the one who saves) You're my Savior, my defense (so we don't have to be afraid) No more fear in life or death I know how the story ends (we will be with You) We will be with You again You're my Savior, my defense (no more fear) No more fear in life or death
To listen to "You've Already Won":
https://youtu.be/sM0ovt_nbd4?si=1i5QO6iXecJU5Ll6